Weekend Workshop at Yogaville – Upgrade Your Story!

Stacy Kamala Waltman’s Weekend Workshop at
Integral Yoga’s – Yogaville in Buckingham, VA
June 22 – 24, 2012

Click here for more info:
Upgrade Your Story: Life Coaching and Yoga

To register:
Life Coaching and Yoga – Upgrade Your Story,
engage your inner alchemist ~
with
Stacy Kamala Waltman

~

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AN OPPORTUNITY TO POUNCE!

“Our senses enable us to perceive only a minute portion of the
outside world.” ~ Nicola Tesla

The title of my blog post was Is Yoga a Religion or Cult?  The body of the article answered this question yet in the approximately 20 places I posted; only one person actually read the message and responded within the context of the missive.

On the other hand, eleven people replied to the question, Is Yoga a Religion or Cult without reading the content of the blog’s message.  Their answers lead the conversation over to their preferred arena; a particular website or educating me about yoga.

While I am always open to new information, it was clear from their remarks that they did not know the extent of my 30+ year yoga training.  It was simply an opportunity for them to “teach” and apparently they “needed” to teach.  Some call it pontificating, I call it pouncing.  The ancient’s called these reactionary tendencies to blindly respond, samskaras.

Samskaras are simply a reaction waiting to happen; an auto-pilot.  Samskaras are our tendency to interpret information in a certain way or look at a particular view of the whole while the ego locks on to a small facet and launches a reaction.  Unchecked these behavioral loops of bias repeat and behaviors become more entrenched.  Oh, and by the way, we all have samskaras and most are hidden from view; blind spots.

Sometimes, after much thrashing about, Stress Management Programs like yoga catch our eye and we begin to consider what it would be like to perceive the world with a new lens and respond in a different, non-habitual way.

Yogic Stress Management tools of cultivating awareness, breathing practices, and self-reflection help us de-magnetize the power of our samskaras/tendencies.

The first step in pulling away from samskaras is gaining awareness of these habitual responses.  This in my opinion is nothing short of a miracle.  Often people get to this place after they have tried over and over again to see their blind spots but they miss what they can’t see.  They are able to consider the edges of their periphery but their blind spots are…blind.

Yogic practices to cultivate awareness include but are not limited to: Meditation, Yoga Nidra, Pranayama, and Life Alignment Coaching.  Each of these programs teaches you how to slow down, take pause and become more aware.

When you take a moment to pause and notice the desire to pounce, check in with yourself and ask, “Have I missed, skipped or ignored something?” or “Am I looking at this situation, person or event with fresh new eyes or dull biased ones?” and “It may be or feel unfamiliar, but I am going to do my best to respond differently to this situation, right now.”

Please enjoy one of my favorite quotes:
“Thoughts can create such a barrier that even if you are standing before a beautiful flower, you will not be able to see it. Your eyes are covered with layers of thought. To experience the beauty of the flower you have to be in a state of meditation, not in a state of ‘mentation’. You have to be silent, utterly silent, not even a flicker of thought – and the beauty explodes, reaches to you from all directions. You are drowned in the beauty of a sunrise, of a starry night, of beautiful trees.” ~ Yogic Wisdom

My thanks to the eleven people who “needed” to teach me about yoga as a result of my previous blog.  It provided us with a worthy topic for discussion.  For those of you who missed the original article, here it is:  Is Yoga a Religion or Cult?

Please share your thoughts on this topic.  It is so lovely when people respond from their own experience in a conscious way.

Here’s my Twitter info if you’d like to join:  YogiKamala

Blessings ~

~ Copyright © 2012 (Stacy Kamala Waltman)

~

 

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YOGA, is it a religion or cult?

Q. Is Yoga a religion or cult?

Stacy Kamala Waltman answers:

    “Yoga is a holistic approach to health and balance. It is not associated with any religion although it is spiritual; the practice connects us with our highest and most lighthearted state.

Meditation techniques have been used in many religious traditions: Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, etc. The tools used in a yoga practice include every area of one’s life including healthy food choices, reverence for the Divine, flexibility in mind and body and deep connection to the breath. When all areas of our lives are in balance we tend to be truly happy, healthy and more loving to ourselves and others.” ~ SKW

“I have learned so much from God that I can no longer call myself a
Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Buddhist or a Jew.

The truth has shared so much of Itself with me that I can no longer
call myself a man, a woman, and angel or even pure Soul.

Love has befriended Hafiz so completely. It has turned to ash
and freed me of every concept and image my mind has ever known.” ~ Hafiz

 

Kamala Yoga:  www.kamalayoga.com

~

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STACY KAMALA WALTMAN’S WORKSHOP AT YOGAVILLE ~

Professional Life Coach and advanced Yoga teacher Stacy Kamala Waltman will lead you on this journey, using visualization, asana, various concentration and meditation techniques, and her expert insights and skilled guidance.

Kamala has been studying yoga for over 30 years and is RYT500 certified.  For more information and to register, please visit:  Yogaville Workshops.

~

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YOGA IMPROVES JOB PERFORMANCE ~

Q. How do Stress Management Programs like Yoga increase productivity, efficiency and job performance?

“Yoga, in its full spectrum approach to balance and health on all levels utilizes the body, breath, mind, and subtle energetic systems in a synergistic whole.

Yoga is not just physical; it is an ethical, conscious, aware and holistic approach to life. The Sanskrit word, yoga literally means yoke or union so when yoga neophytes say, “Do more Yoga!” That’s like saying, “Do more union!”  We don’t DO yoga. We are either in yoga or we are not. We are either balanced or we are unbalanced.

Instead of doing more yoga, be in yoga.  Do more asana or meditation practice.  Actually treat your Self to the bliss of yoga nidra rather than just thinking about it and by all means expand your study of what yoga is in all of its fullness.

True yoga transforms how the mind, breath, body and emotions respond to stress in an interconnected dynamic.

Just as the body can learn a new standing posture that eventually becomes ingrained, so the mind can learn new thought patterns and ways of shifting awareness though meditation and yoga nidra.

Additionally with practice, the nervous system can learn to manage stress through breathing techniques called pranayama.

Over a period of re-training in a yogic holistic practice, when challenges arrive in any environment, they begin to flow through rather than overwhelm us. As a result, we become more conscious; efficient, clear, balanced and compassionate rather than reactionary, numb, robotic or punitive.

At work and at home; in all aspects of our lives we become more productive, joyful, efficient and aligned as a result of being in yoga.”
~ Stacy Kamala Waltman, Meditation Master and Advanced Life Coach

Please join me on my new website:  www.kamalayoga.com

~

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Lotus Nectar

 

Lotus Nectar

Author:  Stacy Kamala Waltman

My intention for the week was to feel replenished and to fill up my depleted reserves with the juice of the universe so that when I coached and as I lived, I would be of service rather than just going through motions, half asleep. 

Invitations to do other things tempted; a trip here, a party there but I was determined to re-claim my strength and fill up with nectar by hibernating like a winter bear.

When juicy – full of life – I am more courageous – more eccentric and self directed, lighthearted, authentic, clear headed, kind, inspiring and fun. 

Self management, quieting the mind with the ability to manage my biases and predispositions enabling me to really listen and capture nuances is easier when I’m “full of it”.  Authentic with nectar in a chalice overflowing, filled to the brim with juice. 

The much anticipated week would consist of fasting, walking, meditating, sleeping and reading.  How delicious it would be to sink into hushed time – turning down the mind and turning up the quiet.  It would be a treat to take a respite from activity.

We can spend whole days, weeks and even months not touching the actual earth.  In shoes and on concrete, in buildings and in cars, on asphalt and watching television, the connection of our bodies to the raw dirt and the hum of earth’s pulse remain shrouded.

The week began chilly and beginning my fast made me even colder.  Sleep was the best I could do – deep rich luxurious sleep and an occasional meditation or two.  The IPod vibrating a tamboura’s hum very softly in the background, day and night as it always does, reminding me of our primordial sound.

My energy slowly returned with the sun after a couple of days as a bear and I embarked on a most luscious trail, walking – barefoot (as any bear would) – the ground warm.  Sometimes velvety, sometimes sandy, here it is gravely, there it’s damp – the earth presented itself differently every few feet. 

Contributing to a mosaic of beauty that is whimsical, each traveler on this road has left their footprints and some have also left beautiful rock art creations.  Different shapes, styles, stones and textures add a gauzy breath of air to the sage infused smells all around. 

Some are perfectly smooth rock; some are covered with sparkles, multi colored stones with intricate patterns and some are wonderfully opaque.  Large, small, jagged and round they are all so varied it is hard to imagine that they all come from this one area.  Awful!  (Look up the meaning of this word)

Hummingbirds darting so tiny and magnificent with their winged hum providing a backdrop of bird song cadences.  So utterly beautiful and powerful in its sweetness and I gave thanks to God. 

Noticing that this walk was not a work out – it was more important than that, it was a walk of joy.

What do you give God in return for all of the goodness she gives?  God is and has everything.  What do you give this entity that has everything?

Ahhhhh….Huuuummmmmm…

I can give thanks and in the full feeling of thankfulness and the complete allowing and receiving of this divine energy, I am honoring God. 

Giving thanks.  Thanks Giving.  That is what I can give.

 

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Twelve Priceless Gifts of Giving that are FREE!

1.  The Gift of a Compliment:  A simple and sincere, “You look happy!”, “You radiate kindness!”, “That meal was delicious!, “I love laughing with you!”, “You make me smile”, “I noticed the amount of effort and care you put into our meal” ~ find a way to give the gift of a compliment, it can make someone’s day.

2.  The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition:  The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word or gesture to someone.  Look for the positive in every situation.  Give someone the benefit of the doubt.

3.  The Gift of a Written  Note:  It can be a simple, “Thanks for the help!” note, a full sonnet or a meaningful remembrance.  A brief, handwritten note from you may be cherished for a lifetime.

4.  The Gift of Seeing Someone in their Highest and Best Light:  Noticing when someone is doing something right, kind, helpful, thoughtful, selfless, or simply seeing them in this way in spite of evidence to the contrary, can add enormous benefit to a person’s well being.

5.  The Gift of Prayer:  Sending loving and healing prayers to the Divine for someone else’s benefit can heal in spite of physical, mental or emotional distance.

6.  The Gift of Laughter:  Clip cartoons. Share funny stories, books and movies to add lightheartedness to the lives of everyone involved.

7.  The Gift of Affection:  Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back, handholding, caressing, stroking and reaching out to another.  These small actions demonstrate your love for family and friends.

8.  The Gift of Listening:  Really listen.  Resist interrupting, don’t daydream, don’t plan a retort or response.  Just listen and be fully present.  When we have this undivided and nurturing attention from another we feel seen.

9.  The Gift of Solitude:  There are times when we want nothing more than to be left alone.  Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude without taking it personally.

10.  The Gift of a Favor:  Either ask what you can for someone to ease their day or simply open the door for the person entering a store and let them go in before you.  Give up your seat on the bus to someone who looks tired.  Decide to cull your closet of the items you don’t use, let go of items that bring up bad memories for you and donate them to charity.  Shovel snow off of your neighbors sidewalk or offer to mow their lawn.

11.  The Gift of Reading Aloud:  Gather your friends and/or family by the fire and take turns reading a story to one another.  Enjoy the give and take of being animated while reading and then sinking into comfort while its your turn to listen.

12.  Do Something Random and Kind for a Stranger:  Decide not to fight about who’s “owns” the lane on the freeway, just let the car next to you pass easily.  Flash your headlights to let them know it is safe.

 I would love to have you add to this list. 
Please contribute your thoughts about other priceless gifts we can give to one another for FREE!

Happy Holidays!

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Saving “Me Time” During the Holiday’s

 

The Bend Bulletin newspaper has premiered it’s new “U Magazine” and in its first publication has quoted several Life and Business Coaches, including me in the article, “Saving Me Time During the Holidays”.

Please enjoy: Bend Bulletin Article

Take care and slow down ~ especially during the holiday’s.

 

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Two Friends and One Horse

 

 

An Isreali Tale told by Crimean Jews
rewritten by Yoel Perez ©2001
Adapted by Laura Simms

“Among the Peul people of Africa it is said that there is a little peace and a big peace, but there is no little quarrel. Even a matchstick can burn down a village.”

Two men, neighbors and friends, named Nabek and Dagar, lived near a great desert. Nabek had an incomparable horse. It was beautiful and as graceful as a deer. Dagar dreamed of having his friend’s horse. Day and night, he could not stop thinking about the horse. Finally, he went to Nabek and asked him to sell it to him. Nabek said, “I would not sell this animal for all the gold and diamonds in the world.”

Unable to control his desire, Dagar decided to trick his friend in order to gain the horse. He disguised himself as a beggar, covering his face, and sat by the side of a road where Nabek passed each day. When Nabak approached, Dagar moaned and called out for help, pretending to be thirsty and hungry. Nabek took pity on the beggar who he thought could no longer walk. He put him on the horse’s back in order to carry him to the marketplace.

The moment Dagar was on the horse, he sat up straight and took control of the reins. He kicked the horse and galloped away, shouting back at his neighbor, “I am Dagar. You will never get your horse back!”

Nabek did not chase after Dagar. But, he called after him, “Dagar, stop for a moment. I want to ask you something.” Recognizing that his friend could not catch him by foot, Dagar stopped. Nabek called out, “By Allah’s will you are now the owner of my wonderful horse. But, please never tell anyone how you got the horse.”

“Why not?” inquired Dagar.

“If people should hear how you tricked me they might never stop to help another beggar at the side of the road. They will be afraid. Perhaps they will leave some poor soul to die. If this story should be told, it could cause great evil in the world.”

Dagar listened and said nothing for a long time. Then, he climbed down off of the horse and gave it back to his neighbor. Together they returned to the tent of Nabek and made an agreement of peace and swore to be friends forever.

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The Marriage Whisperer and Creating a Federal Department of Peace

By Stacy K. Waltman

In Oprah’s November magazine the following article is published regarding utilizing the same skills we use in our personal relationships to guide us toward world peace.

http://www.mainedop.org/oprah.htm

Please take a moment to read this outstanding message which highlights the importance of using the word “AND” in place of “OR” in our thoughts and vocabulary.

When we allow multiple perspectives to occur simultaneously, we begin to broaden our understanding between people.

Retraining ourselves to look at many alternatives keeps our minds supple, our aggressive tendencies to a minimum and our lives rich. Self-righteous and entrenched positions begin to soften and relating versus controlling communication skills develop.

In conjunction with this article, there is also a movement to create a Federal Department of Peace within our government. This department will advocate non-violence and will also address issues such as child-abuse, gangs and drug addiction.

Non-violence is the governing principle of this organization. Non-violence (Ahimsa) is a broad virtue which encompasses the lack of hurtful thoughts, hurtful words and hurtful deeds directed to ourselves and each other. It begins with each one of us.

When you refrain from gossip you are practicing Ahimsa, when you are gentle to yourself and turn down your inner critic, you are practicing Ahimsa, when you speak about others with compassion instead of judgement, you are practicing Ahimsa. When you chose to cause no harm, you are practicing Ahimsa.

May you be blessed by recognizing when your own internal violence is engaged in making someone pay or in being the only one who is right and may you develop the skills to reverse this tendency and its control of your life.

 

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The Catepillar’s Surrender

Author:  Stacy Kamala Waltman

Before he’s able to dip into a stream of fresh wind gliding into flight, the multi-legged caterpillar first gave up his ability to dance.

Surrendering to complete darkness, his cocoon immobilized all movement. With total isolation he was afraid.

In panic he prayed, “What is happening God? I don’t like this, I feel trapped.” And God whispered, “Patience my friend, you have prayed for transformation and I am answering your prayer.”

And then God asked, “What else can you surrender?”

The caterpillar no longer felt like himself. He was uncomfortable and wanted to reverse this prayer but his body was trapped. Nothing was familiar.

Just yesterday he left his tribe of family and friends and moved to this new tree forte because he thought that’s what God wanted him to do with his life. Now he wondered why he had taken such drastic action. Had he gone mad?

So he prayed, “Haven’t I given up everything for you God? I don’t like this. Am I going to die?” And God said, “Things are not always as they appear. Be patient and trust me.”

And with great effort the caterpillar gave up his need to try to figure everything out and understand why things were the way they were.

He slept deeply and lost count of the days. When he finally awoke, his body felt odd and he cried out, “Why are you making me so uncomfortable? Have I angered you? When will we be done?”

And God answered, “Patience my friend, Soon it will all become clear.”

Feeling deep despair he thought, I really am dying, there is no God. In my delusion I must have imagined talking to him. After all, who am I to talk to God?

“Give up your thoughts, pity and anger and surrender to God completely, ” said a voice.

The first change he noticed was the light. As the days passed, more and more light came into his tiny cavern. The light brought with it a small feeling of hope and he began to feel things he couldn’t identify.

The day came when his movements became more fruitful and he no longer felt so constricted. He noticed that everything had changed.

And after moments of intense struggle, he was free and breathing in God as he flew and danced with the wind.

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Mavericks ~ They Were IT

By Stacy K. Waltman

It was 1924 and they shared a love for each other and for a vast, untamed Alaska and her living creatures.

Dedicating their lives to the preservation of what little remote wilderness was left in the world, they taught others how to observe nature quietly and to breathe in the smallest details of majestic horizons.

He was a field naturalist, an enormously talented artist who had an uncanny knack for cooing animals to his side. So close that some called it magic ~ a Dr. Doolittle of sorts.

She was the first female graduate of the University of Alaska in Fairbanks earning a degree in business.

She had no training and little preparation for the life they would embark upon together as man and wife. Their journey as a united soul began at three o’clock in the morning, on August 19, 1924.

In a log chapel along the Yukon River in the small riverside village of Anvik, Alaska they married and became the Murie’s – Olaus and Mardy.

Their honeymoon and life adventures together formed in the arctic wilderness with seven Siberian huskies in a dogsled team which carried the newlyweds through blizzards and tough terrain as they studied the migration patterns of caribou.

At that point in history, it was widely believed by “civilized” people that the harsh wilderness was not a place for women. It was too harsh and women were too frail.

Mardy endured a lot of criticism for her lifestyle. When asked how she managed, she once answered, “When the trail was good at all, I’d stand on the sled handlebars; otherwise, I’d have to run next to the sled. And those Alaska dogs were so eager to get into harness and go, that you could hardly restrain them in the morning,” said Mardy Murie. “They would go so fast that I just had to hang on to this curved handlebar at the back of the sled, and sometimes my arm and my feet would be flying out behind somewhere!”

Averaging approximately 20 miles a day, their honeymoon sleigh ride covered over 550 miles of wilderness Alaskan territory.

Mardy and Olaus raised their family on the open land and when asked by other women, “My goodness, wasn’t it awfully hard raising children in the wilderness?” Mardy would answer,
“Think of all the things I didn’t have to do. I didn’t have to go to a bridge party. I didn’t have to wax the floor. I didn’t have to answer the telephone and I didn’t have to be on a social committee.”

For 39 years they shared a passion and commitment to the preservation of wilderness and worked side by side in wildlife research and conservation.

Both lovers wrote books on their various expeditions together and chronicled the natural flow of long-forgotten creatures and their patterns in life and death.

In 1956, George Schaller was one of three young biologists who assisted the Murie’s on one of their trek’s – this one through the remote northeastern section of the Brooks Range in arctic Alaska.

George Schaller’s 1956 report stated:

“Dr. Olaus Murie, intimately acquainted with the North Country, taught me in his quiet way to observe and appreciate many of the aspects of the wilderness which I had formally overlooked.

Mrs. Olaus Murie, or “Mardy” as she is known to everyone, with her charm and efficiency was largely responsible for the planning of our expedition, and it was through her efforts that we accomplished everything that we set out to do.

As a result of the 1956 trip to the Sheenjek, Mardy and Olaus as well as a lot of people, fought very hard to get the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge established.

We fight for the Refuge and for the last great wilderness in the United States.

I’ve traveled in many parts of the world, in the most remote wilderness, and I don’t think people in the United States realize what a treasure they have, because there is very little remote wilderness left in the world.

It is very hard to find a place that is virtually untouched, so the Refuge is really a treasure not just for the United States but for the world.”

With the help of others, Olaus and Mardy Murie continued their environmental quest for preservation by fostering the growth and development of The Wilderness Society.

For eight years The Wilderness Society championed the government to pass a wilderness bill, protecting some of Alaska ‘s prime and pristine land until eventually, in 1964, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Wilderness Act.

He did not taste the fruits of the legislative bill’s passage though because in September 1963, pioneer and conservationist Olaus Murie passed away. Undeterred from their joint vision though, wife Mardy continued their quest for wilderness conservation until the age of 99.

In adventure, her’s was a life less traveled.

On some nights, Mardy’s spirit was fired by the midnight sun. On others, her soul was powered by stars that rained down from a pitch black sky.

And then there were those nights when enchantment would take flight with the aurora’s seductive dance illuminating the sky in flashes of color.

She studied the quiet and small as well as the enormous and vast and found magic through eyes that saw more than most.

The drums of her ears vibrated to a cacophony of wilderness melodies sung by a symphony of creatures that performed for no one but themselves.

She allowed herself to drink in a world of harmony and reverence and sought to share her cup overflowing with a world yet unborn.

Mardy at 88 years old:

“So, what have I said? That we live in a precarious world; that we are threatened by man’s ingenuity; that we need a less consumptive lifestyle in order to preserve the beauty and grace of our world; and that our remaining wild places, our wilderness, have to be a most important element in all our thinking and all our doing.

I think if we saved every bit of designated wilderness it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy what I think should be the normal longings of a person to know what natural country looks like.

And I think just experiencing some fairly untouched country on our planet does something for a person’s mind and soul.”

Mardy at 99 years young:

“I love to lie awake a little while at night – listening to the quietness. Only the faint sound of the river. There it is, out there – a piece of natural world – river and forest and mountains and sky, and all the creatures, safely curled up or wandering about, according to their various natures.

I lie there and listen, and feel the nightness of it all.

There is something smooth, silky, and harmonious about the night, a blessing and a benison – not simply a gap between hurried activities.”

They were mavericks and the world has been blessed with the love and generosity of their vision.

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Wildly Successful and Playful!

By Stacy K. Waltman

I ran across a wonderful article about Richard Branson, the Virgin Airlines founder.  Branson created an empire by putting customer service ahead of immediate financial considerations and creating a business climate that values fun.  He doesn’t just talk about fun – he creates it and his employees live in that work culture.

“A lot of executives consistently do what’s easiest or cheapest for the business rather than the people paying the freight,” says Branson.  “Take a look at your business and ask yourself, ‘Is this how I would want to be treated if I were the customer?’

Branson has always been known for revolutionary business thinking.  On one airline trip, he recalls, “I wanted to talk to the pretty girl in the next aisle, but I was stuck in my seat the entire flight.”

Branson’s frustration inspired him to introduce stand-up bars in Virgin’s cabins.

After his wife’s manicurist suggested offering nail treatments and massages on Vigin’s flights, Branson didn’t bother with market research. “Sounds like a great idea,” he said. “Screw it, let’s do it.”

Now Virgin has 700 nail and massage therapists on staff.

For a more information, please visit:  http://www.fastcompany.com/subscr/108/open_customers-branson.html

Make-create fun today!

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Shifting Perspectives

By Stacy Kamala Waltman

Here is another opportunity to be reminded of how different situations in our lives appear depending upon where we are in relationship to the circumstances.

At work, the CFO’s tasks include minimizing expenditures, the Marketing Director job entails maximizing exposure and impact of the company’s brand and the Human Resource Director’s task includes handling the emotional and legal climate of the company.

How well these individuals relate to one another and their respective roles in the company will have significant impact on the overall success of the organization.

How do you manage the appearance of a different point of view?

How do you navigate the emotional waters of conflict in new ways?

Will you benefit from learning a new skill set so that you can expand your current capacity to relate and converse?

The ability to broaden your perspectives will enhance every area of your life. Please take a look at this clip and remember what you already know.

http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/index.html

I can help you learn a new set of tools to expand your perspective, conversational skills and relate to others in ways that will increase your success at work and at home.

To your success!

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Leadership ~ To Serve

 

By Stacy K. Waltman

“The ability to perceive or think differently is more important than the knowledge gained.” – David Bohm (http://twm.co.nz/Bohm.html )

What is leadership and what makes a good leader?

As with many of our perceptions, the definition of leadership has been evolving with our understanding of the world and each individual’s place in it. 

We have historically thought of leadership as a quality that exists in certain people and not others.  In the past, the idea of someone in a leadership position has been one with a great deal of authority, power and independence. 

When we have this mind-set and search for this fixed type of person, we don’t really see each other.  Instead of seeing what is in front of us, we see stored-up images, interpretations, feelings, doubts, distrusts, likes and dislikes that the other person evokes in us. We’re locked into a frame of reference that can keep us from perceiving things outside of our basic assumptions. 

In this fixed state, people learn to don masks and play pre-determined roles void of authenticity.  Evolution from this place is limited.

In Daniel H. Pink’s book, A Whole New Mind, he discusses how our society is moving away from the Information Age into the Conceptual Age where leadership is marrying our left-directed reasoning ability with our right-directed aptitudes like design, story, symphony, empathy, play and meaning. 

Story, myth, allegory, empathy and relationship are the qualities that a machine cannot replicate. In this way, we are differentiated from our computer counterparts. 

Our future depends on our interdependence on the whole of being human instead of fragmented and compartmentalized parts as in the previous way we interacted in the business environment.   

For years Joseph Campbell wrote about The Power of Myth and related truths.

“Myth is the secret opening through which the inexhaustible energies of the cosmos pour into human manifestation.”
– Joseph Campbell (http://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/herojourney.html )

Our emerging definition of leadership includes believing there is a different or better way to do things than they have been done before.

It’s not a pose of arrogance but rather a viewpoint with an infinite amount of possibilities.

This vision of Leadership is that everyone has leadership capacity which simply needs to be called forth from the collective knowledge base.

“Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate and to connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives,” says Oprah Winfrey. 

According to Joseph Jaworski in “Synchronicity – The inner path of leadership”, today’s effective leader has an attitude of servitude.

The leader who has the wisdom to ask, “How can I serve you?” is based upon a greater understanding of how we are all connected in a larger cosmic body.

When one of us is in trouble, we are all suffering. When we view how our actions affect the world, we are operating out of the understanding that we are all links in the same chain. 

Leadership is also the ability to be transparent by taking off the masks which were worn in an archaic time by those who were afraid of many things, including change.

The willingness to take risks and embracing failure as a tool for growth and refinement is a valuable asset in today’s leader. “Where you stumble, there your treasure lies,” says Joseph Campbell. 

Ultimately the qualities of a true and effective leader has more to do with their state of “being” than with their state of “doing”.

This state has an effortless quality to it that is steeped in trusting a higher power and allowing the synchronicities of our lives to unfold without effort. 

The ability to listen and allow people to feel heard is another benchmark of a authentic leader. They engender trust and show respect by holding confidences close to heart. 

Today’s leader is adept at merging their heart and its wisdom with their rational mind and its knowledge.  Leadership in this emerging dynamic has a lot to do with integrating your whole being into the Leadership role.

We are in a time of integration where the individual is learning to merge the various areas of their lives that have been previously compartmentalized.  New skills are being learned and practiced.  The way is not always clear ~ until it is.

The individual leader is taking their personal integration into the business environment and businesses are taking this wisdom into the global economy. 

Leadership is a state of being whole and integrated in an ever-evolving refinement that occurs throughout our entire lives.

As within – so it is without. 

The limits to our individual potential and the potential of business environments as well as our world are mostly imagined.

Go beyond what you think is possible.  Find the miraculous in your day – operate in the realm of possibilities.  Live your life with a whole new mind.

 

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Working Relationships

By Stacy K. Waltman

Relationships are found in every area of our lives. Even when we don’t realize we’re having a relationship, one is being experienced.

We have relationships with our boss, co-workers, significant other, siblings, parents, committee members, church, and more. Some people say that we even have a relationship with our money, health and food.

Managing relationships well can be the difference between a company’s making a profit or posting a loss and a person’s ability to weather personal storm’s at home. It can also be the difference between having a healthy respect for money and food and having an unhealthy obsession with both.

I returned from a coaching workshop in Rhode Island a few months ago on the power of relationships. It was titled, “Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching”. In this class we developed our skills for successfully helping people interact with their various relationship dynamics.

One of the most interesting concepts I heard this week was, “In order to get to a healthier and more productive place, we need to give up our fear of conflict, turmoil and resistance.” ~ John M. Gottman

Even as I write that, my hand wavers a little. The idea behind this audacious statement is that where there is conflict there is a desire and opportunity to reach a greater understanding between people in business and at home. That’s not how we usually view interactions that tear at our current social fabric.

Sam Keen wrote, “Sometimes what looks like a fight is only the fierceness of love.” What a difference of viewpoint. You can imagine how differently you might react depending on how you view confrontation. What else do we miss when we push the auto-pilot relationship button?

In the workplace and at home, the three greatest saboteurs of strong, and healthy relationship dynamics are 1) the habit of blaming; 2) the habit of keeping secrets; and 3) lying.

Each of these tendencies keeps people separate from one another and never allows for a greater understanding to evolve between them. So much is lost when we over-protect ourselves and over-predict others.

When we eliminate the habits of blaming, withholding and lying from our interactions with others, we begin to become transparent with one another, and ultimately learn more about ourselves. Being vulnerable at this level is a life skill we need to re-learn.

Do your relationship skills need a tune-up? If they do, in addition to relationship coaching, I highly recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0609805797/wwwintegratio-20/104-9423782-7950333?creative=327641&camp=14573&adid=07SEGVRZ3M6GK1MMW8Q0&link_code=as1

Although the book title has the word marriage in it, the book’s premise is that all relationships are opportunities for new connections between us.

Most of the concepts outlined in this book outdistance prevalent beliefs about what is true and what is possible in all of our relationships.

Tune up your relationship skills with this enlightening book and if you want to integrate new relationship skills into your life, being coached is the fastest and most direct way. Your world and your relationships will open up and evolve.

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Developing a Neutral Mind

 

By Stacy Kamala Waltman

According to many spiritual teachers, events come into our lives in the form of “tests” in order to help us mature and become more balanced. In this light, events are neither good nor bad ~ they are simply occurrences which are structured to help us move past our mental and emotional blocks.

Tests are tailored to the only way we will understand and learn each lesson.  If we pass these “tests” by meeting challenges and then learn to further develop our life skills as a result of the events at hand, then the need for that situation ends and, as a result, the conditions of our lives evolve.

If however, we have not yet learned from the situation, the tests are repeated – under different circumstances – until the necessary understanding has occurred.

By having a “neutral mind” as opposed to a “judgmental mind” that deems dealings as good or bad, we can interpret events as they are, unencumbered by an emotional overlay.

With a “neutral mind” that is neither positive nor negative we have a better chance of moving past the “drama” of a challenging situation. Having this quality or being in this state allows us to move forward to the lesson.

Here is a wonderful old story of a “neutral mind”:

Once upon a time a peasant had a horse. This horse ran away, so the peasant’s neighbors came to console him for his bad luck. He answered, “Maybe”.

The day after, the horse came back and was also leading 6 wild horses. The neighbors came to congratulate him on such good luck. The peasant said, “Maybe”.

The day after this, his son tried to saddle and ride one of the wild horses, but he fell down and broke his leg. Once again the neighbors came to share that misfortune. The peasant said, “Maybe”.

The day after that, soldiers came to enlist the youth of the village, but the peasant’s son was not chosen because of his broken leg. When the neighbors came to congratulate him, the peasant said again, “Maybe”.

Having a neutral mind does not imply being emotionally flat or non-responsive, it is actually representative of a capacity to develop the mental and emotional qualities of sensitivity and discipline.

These qualities allow us to hold a larger vision which is not inclined to make snap judgments. It is a more watchful than judgmental mindset. It is the ability to wait and see how things unfold in a larger context. 

This week, watch for the tendency of your mind to pass judgment. Notice when your mind jumps to conclusions, stereotypes, past episodes, and habitual thinking patterns.

Simply notice these tendencies of your mind without giving in to anger, judgment or frustration with yourself and begin to develop a neutral mind that is open to learning.

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