Optimist’s Creed

 

The Optimist’s Creed: 

Promise Yourself…

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To remind your friends they are worthwhile.

To look at the sunny side of everything.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

A friend of mine sent this to me today – Valentine’s Day – and it’s a lovely reminder of how we hold each other in our “mind’s eye”.   

On a trip to Kiniwata Island in the Pacific I had the most extraordinary experience.  The island was outrageously beautiful and I had an enjoyable time, but the thing I remember most about my trip was the fact “Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife.”   I remember Johnny every time I see a man belittle his wife or a wife demean her husband.  When I see either one treat their partner with scorn, I say to them, “You need to know why Johnny Lingo gave eight cows for his wife!” 

Johnny Lingo is known throughout the islands for his skills, intelligence, and savvy. If you hire him as a guide, he will show you the best fishing spots and the best places to get pearls. Johnny is also one of the sharpest traders in the islands. He can get you the best possible deals. The people of Kiniwata all speak highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet, when they speak of him, they always smile just a little mockingly. 

A couple days after my arrival to Kiniwata, I went to the manager of the guesthouse to see who he thought would be a good fishing guide. “Johnny Lingo,” said the manager. “He’s the best around. When you go shopping, let him do the bargaining.  Johnny knows how to make a deal.” 

“Johnny Lingo!” hooted a nearby boy, “Yea, Johnny can make a deal alright!” 

“What’s going on?” I asked, “Everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then they start laughing.  What’s going on?” 

“Johnny’s the brightest and strongest young man in the islands,” the manager said.  “He’s also the richest for his age.” “But …” I protested. “… if he’s all you say he is, why does everyone laugh at him behind his back?” 

“Well, there is one thing. Five months ago, at the fall festival, Johnny Lingo came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He gave her father eight cows!” I knew enough about the local island customs to be impressed. A dowry of two or three cows would net a fair wife and four or five cows would net a very nice wife. 

“Wow!” I said. “Eight cows! She must have beauty that takes your breath away.” “She’s not ugly, …” he conceded with a little smile, “… but calling her ‘plain’ would definitely be a compliment. Sam Karoo, her father, was afraid she would never marry and instead of being stuck with her, he received eight cows for her hand in marriage!  Isn’t that extraordinary? This price has never ever been paid before!” 

The next afternoon I wanted to fish and find the extraordinary pearls the islands were known to cultivate, so I went to the island of Nurabandi.  As I asked for the directions to Johnny’s house, I noticed Johnny’s neighbors were also amused at the mention of his name.  When I met the slim, serious young man I could see immediately why everyone respected his skills. However, this only reinforced my confusion over him.  

As we sat in his house, he asked me, “You come here from Kiniwata?” 

“Yes.”  My curiosity overrode my concern about being polite and I asked, “People there say you exceeded the normal marriage offering of only two cows.  They say you gave eight cows and you grossly overpaid for your wife.” I paused. “They wonder why.” 

“They ask that?” His eyes lighted with pleasure. “Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?” I nodded. 

“And in Nurabandi, everyone knows it too?” His chest expanded with satisfaction. “Always and forever, when they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered that Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita.” 

So that’s the answer, I thought: Vanity. 

Just then Sarita entered the room to place flowers on the table. She stood still for a moment to smile at her husband and then left. She was clearly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin, and the sparkle in her eyes all spelled self-confidence and pride. Not an arrogant and haughty pride, but a confident inner beauty that radiated in her every movement.  I turned back to Johnny and found him looking at me curiously.  

“You find her beautiful?” he murmured. “She … she’s gorgeous.” I said. “Obviously, this is not the one everyone is talking about. She can’t be the Sarita you married on Kiniwata.” 

“There’s only one Sarita. Perhaps, she doesn’t look the way you expected?” 

“She doesn’t. I heard she was homely. They make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo.” 

“You think eight cows were too many?” A smile slid over his lips. 

“No, but how can she be so different from the way they described her?” 

Johnny said, “Think about how it must make a girl feel to know her husband paid a very low dowry for her? It must be insulting to her to know he places such little value on her. Think about how she must feel when the other women boast about the high prices their husbands paid for them. I would not let this happen to my Sarita.” 

“So, you paid eight cows just to make your wife happy?” 

“Well, of course I wanted my Sarita to be happy, but there’s more to it than that. You say she is different from what you expected. This is true. Many things can change a woman. There are things that happen on the inside and things that happen on the outside. However, the thing that matters most is how she views herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. As a result, that’s the value that she projected. Now, she knows she is worth more than any other woman on the islands.  Because she feels valued, she is happy and very good to me.  We have a good and happy life.”

“Then you wanted …”  “I wanted to marry Sarita. She is the only woman I love.” 

“But …” I was close to understanding. “But,” he finished softly, “I wanted an eight-cow wife.” 

Think about your words and actions (both public and private). Do your words and actions make your mate feel s/he is worth eight cows or just one cow?  You are cheating yourself and your partner when you minimize your partner’s value by projecting that they are worth only one cow.  

If you cause damage in this way, your loved one’s will start acting like a one cow person and your life will be miserable.   

As a general rule people respond according to the value you place on them.  Place a higher value on yourself and others by cherishing those that you love.  Your life will be richer and more joyful living this way. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

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Living From the Neck Up…

One day, Barry went to a lawyer friend for advice.  “I’m in real trouble” he said. “My neighbors across the road are going on vacation for a month; and instead of boarding their dogs they are going to keep them locked up and a woman is coming to feed them, if she doesn’t forget.  

Meanwhile they’ll be lonely and bark all day and howl all night, and I won’t be able to sleep. I’ll either have to call the SPCA to haul them away or I’ll go berserk and go over there and shoot them and then when my neighbors return, they’ll go berserk and come over and shoot me.” 

The lawyer patted back a delicate yawn. “Let me tell you a story,” he said. “And don’t stop me if you’ve heard it before because it will do you good to hear it again.”  

“A fellow was speeding down a country road late at night and BANG! went a tire. He got out and looked but he had no jack.  “Then he said to himself. ‘Well, I’ll just walk to the nearest farmhouse and borrow a jack.” 

“He saw a light in the distance and said, ‘Well, I’m in luck; the farmer’s up. I’ll just knock on the door and say I’m in trouble; would you please lend me a jack? “And he’ll say, why sure, neighbor, help yourself, but please bring it back.” 

“He walked on a little farther and the light in the farmhouse went out, so he said to himself, ‘Now he’s gone to bed, and he’ll be annoyed because I’m bothering him just when he’s trying to get to sleep AND he’ll probably want some money for borrowing his jack.  And I’ll say, “It isn’t very neighborly of you to ask, but I’ll give you a quarter.”

And he’ll say, do you think you can get me out of bed in the middle of the night and then offer me just a quarter? Give me a dollar or you can get yourself a jack somewhere else.’  

“By the time the man got to the farmhouse the fellow had worked himself into a frenzy. He turned into the gate and muttered. ‘A dollar! All right, I’ll give you a dollar. But not a cent more! A poor fellow has an accident and all he needs is a jack. You probably won’t let me have one no matter what I give you. That’s the kind of guy you are.’  

“Which brought him to the door and he knocked angrily, loudly. The farmer stuck his head out the window above the door and hollered down, ‘Who’s there? What do you want?’ The fellow stopped pounding on the door and yelled up, ‘You and your stupid jack! You know what you can do with it?!'”  

When Barry stopped laughing, he started thinking, and he said, “Is that what I’ve been doing?”  “Right,” the lawyer said, “and you’d be surprised how many people come to a lawyer for advice, and instead of calmly stating the facts, they start building up a big imaginary fight; including what he’ll say to his partner, what she’ll say to her husband, or how they’ll tell the old man off about his will. So I tell them the story about the jack and they cool off.  

“The next time I hear from them, one tells me that the partner was glad to meet him halfway; the gal says she can’t understand it, her husband was so reasonable she thought she must have gotten somebody else on the phone; the relatives found out the old man had already been asking a lawyer how he could give everything to them before he died, to save them inheritance tax.”  

Barry thought, “How true! Most of us go through life bumping into obstacles we could easily bypass; inadvertently asking for a fight and lashing out in blind rage at imagined wrongs and duplicitous foes.  

“And we don’t even realize what we are doing until someone startles us one day with a vivid word like a lightning flash on a dark night.”  

Well, the other night Barry was driving home from the city. He was late for dinner and hadn’t phoned his wife. As he crawled along in a line of cars, he became more and more frustrated and angry. He thought to himself: “I’ll tell her I was caught in the heavy weekend traffic and she’ll say, ‘Why didn’t you phone me before you left town?’   

“Then I’ll say, “What difference does it make anyway, I’m here!” And she’ll say, “Yes, and I’m here, too, and I’ve been here all day waiting to hear from you!”

And I’ll say, “I suppose I haven’t anything else to do but call you up every hour on the hour and make like a lovebird!” And she’ll say, “You never are nice when you call, rather you are mean, demanding – like a dictator!”  

By this time Barry was turning into the drive and he is plenty steamed up. As he jumped out and slammed the car door, his wife flung open the window upstairs.  “All right!” Barry shouted up to her, “Say it!”  

“I will,” she cooed softly with a smile on her face. “Wanna borrow a jack?” 

 

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